SLAGS WORLD RANKINGS
1
Dork Duvet, Dick Duvet, Dirk Duval, Dork Bogarde, Pish Boy, Piss Boy, Shat Boy, Mong man
Mentally weak, generally shat. Years of soul destroying chipping yips have taken their toll.
2
Mungo, Bucketspunk, mong-man, Beast-Fister, Slaglander, Jobby
Utterly Shat, sometimes due to his mental mind.
3
The white Vijay, Jonhard Master, Jonhardinho, J-Wang
Mentally shat, inner game weakness. Brings others down to his level.
4
Vaughanie, Frankie, Virge
Bit hairy .. five o'clock shadow by lunchtime. Bald as a badger too.
5
Stone Cold, Stone Cold Cockpiss, bum faced wonder, Bumchinkvist, Benhard
The baddest man in golf. The ladies choice.
6
Bernie Shitehouse, Shithouse, Stenhousemuir, Biffa, The Walrus
Prone to bloating. The John Daly of Slags Golf.
7
Monty, Soft hands, Yippy the kangaroo, Mac the knifer, Rapey.
The delicate touch of Bill Cosby around the greens.
8
Fergie, Rob Roy McGregor, Aberdeen Angus, Borat
Thought to be shat.
9
Swanny, Swanners
Wilts under pressure.
10
Geyser, Monty, Julio Englacias, choker, Greg, Jean Van der Velde
The Greg Norman of Slags Golf.
11
Rory McCrory, Rors,
Consistent underachiever
12
Monty, Mrs Doubtire
Mentality of Monty, swing of Brucey.
13
Mungo, Mongo, Drongo
Takes pot shots at fellow slags.
14
The Ginger ringer, Ginger minger, Ginge, Ralph Malf, Ringo, Popeye Balfour, Doc
Incapable of human feeling. The Bjorn Borg of Slags
15
Scribbins, El Baldito, El Bandito
One of an elite subset of slags who need to be filmed in widescreen.
16
Mickey Duck
Best years long behind him.
17
Sean 'the Beast' Fister, Kenny (Dunny man), Keith (from the Office), Rupetch
Suffered horribly in the 2016 season with Bashington's digit.
18
Chav Boy, Asbo boy, Dog boy, Charver, Tadger, Prince Albert, Half Pint
The Keith Chegwin of Slags golf.
19
Sir, Wiggins, Winky, Jenkins, Up Jenkins, Reamer
Swings like a butterfly, stings like a pea.
20
Extra from Deliverance
Indie-boy 'student wanker' look
21
The Gaffer, The Guvnor, Shrek
Brassy and Spoon merchant.
22
El Tel, Jamie Oliver, Tezza,
First Slag to be inducted to the Wooden Spooner Hall of Fame.
23
The Matted Reamer, Matted
Misery golf.
24
Uri Geller, Pull, Paul Funsize Member, Funsize Marsbar
Massive bender
25
Gold-member, Baron Bomburst, Mr. Scaramanga, Golf-finger, Mr Big, Dr. Julius No, Ernst Stavro Blofeld
Pretty girl, beware of his heart of gold
26
Munter
A martyr to his 'farmers'.
27
Ged, Jedi
Tough competitor and rules man.
28
La, Sof' Lad, Wack, Ahh kidda
Gobshite. Get's riled easily ... eh calm down.
29
Ginge, Pinky, Perky,
He doesn't tan ... he strokes.
30
Lord of the Dance
When asked who was on his bag, replied "don't speak about me mum like that"
31
Willy, WW, Howard Jones, Captain Pugwash
Brings others down to his level
